I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
