The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
