i think my tv is drunk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
