im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
