Dual....:-)
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
