Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Randomize
