I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize