If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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