i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
