ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
