david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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