people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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