I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
