she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
