spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize