New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize