Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
