home. puking in laundry basket.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Mom said you looked used
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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