I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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