it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
