From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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