I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
