Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
