she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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