dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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