I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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