It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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