ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
