youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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