I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Enjoy the penises
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
