The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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