some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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