He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
