I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
