I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
