thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
