i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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