So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
