"it" just moved
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
