hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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