i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
