I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
