"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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