mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
