I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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