Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
