are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
