I'm drive I can fine osifer
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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