They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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