If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
