big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
