my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
