I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
