I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
