Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
