I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Farmville is her only friend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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