there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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