Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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