new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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