Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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