we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize