we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
