I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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