What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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